Returning to College

A new year, a new semester, some new resolutions. The idea is that I must somehow preserve what’s left of my sanity, so these are just safety measures.

1: I will be studious and finish all my homework on time. I will finish my reading at least one day before class, and absolutely not ten minutes before class.
2: I will practice the requisite amount of time and actually be prepared for my lessons every week. Just because I can fake, doesn’t mean I should
3: I will not leave papers until the last minute. Writing said papers at 3am the night before they’re due is o-u-t.
4: I will not overload my schedule. I will allot the proper amount of time for study.
5: I will get more sleep…

…oh, who am I kidding?

What is sanity anyway? And why is it so important? And why do I suppose I can actually maintain any one of these resolutions for even one day? What an idiot.

Although I must say, writing a paper at 3am the night before the due date is one experience I do not care to repeat, so I probably will take special measures to prevent that from ever happening again.

Other than that, I can guarantee that one or all of these resolutions will be broken in my first week back.

And oh-so-patronizingly, you are thinking: “Well of course you’re going to break your resolutions with that bad attitude. You’re setting yourself up for failure! Such pessimism I never saw in all my days!”  ‘Cause I know that’s exactly what you’re thinking…

To which I reply, “Pshaw. A pessimist is never disappointed, at least, not as far as my study resolutions go…”

Thus, I’ll be pleasantly surprised if I marginally succeed at keeping any of my resolutions for more than ten minutes. Of course, I’ll give it a good try so that I can’t say I’m not trying. But trying and expecting are two different things entirely. I’ll take the trying, without the expectation.

So, now you might be asking, “What’s the point of this post? Who cares?”

Fine. Shame on me for cluttering cyberspace with my pessimistic paradoxes, but I suppose this is all to illustrate a point for the umpteenth time: the pointlessness of resolutions. Just like you (silly fool) wasting five minutes of your life by reading this post, so we all waste our time making resolutions.

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